Another year older, another road taken.
I seem to have really defined myself over the past 3 years, and for the most part of it, it really had to do with studying in Australia, discovering a knack for something I never thought I had, and solidifying a true sense of self.
Fuck, I’m really missing Sydney right now.
I was asked one night, how i dealt with loneliness; how do I manage to always be solitary and do without human company. I think I’ve managed a pretty independent life since I was young, and I’ve always preferred my own thoughts and company even at that young age than making friends and socialising.
In primary school I found most of my peers tiresome and their issues inconsequential. I spent most of my time reading the Dune novels and couldn’t find anyone else to talk to. Sure I had friends then, but conversations always seem to be on autopilot and uninvolving.
I grew up as a latch-key kid. I was introduced to my first computer when I was five by my granddad. Of course we didn’t own one, but I was enthralled by it. It eventually became quite an obsession during my teenage years and I painstakingly learnt the arcane arts of programming. Again, solitary pursuits and I shunned the team sports that were bandied about amongst my friends.
The most physically demanding sport that I enjoy would be rock climbing. Even there, I chose bouldering, which you could do solo, over aided climbing, which you had to have a partner to belay you.
It’s quite tiring to have get someone to understand me completely. I really relish conversations that appeal to my interests (who doesn’t?) but it’s exceedingly difficult to find a counter-party to share the various topics (and they are varied) I have in mind.
Most of the time, I’m coasting and not really engaging.
I’m the kinda person who would be most suited for a long space voyage. Unfortunately, I’m not smart, or American, enough to be strapped atop a thousand tons of oxidative fuels and head for the stars.
