The problem isn’t that I don’t know what I want in life. The problem is that I know what I want, but that’s not what I need.
Three Forty Four
Sitting in the bus, travelling at night, you get to see a different country
from that you’re used to. In the shadows cast by the sodium lamps, things
can appear grave, yet muted.
Scrambled eggs done right
How do you make scrambled eggs? Most people crack a few eggs in a bowl, add milk, a pinch of salt and beat the hell out of them before depositing it in the fry-pan and just making a general scramble as they cook.
That’s Scrambled-Eggs LITE, my friends.
For the real deal! Here’s what you need
Some cracked salt and pepper
2 tablespoons of cream (35% milk fat)
A section of butter (1x3 finger thick section) - Room Temp.!
5 eggs
Saucepan
That’s right folks, we use a saucepan here - no frying pans.
De-shell the eggs directly into the saucepan. Do not beat the hell out of them. Leave them as they are.
Drop in the butter (if it seems too much - it isn’t. You’ll thank me later).
Put the saucepan on medium-low heat. As soon as you see some of the egg albumin (that’s the WHITE for you non-Biology majors) turning white, remove from heat source and gently stir the mixture.
Place it back on the heat once the butter is evenly melted.
Ever so often, remove the saucepan from heat and stir the mixture. You do NOT want the eggs at the base to OVERcook.
Repeat until the mixture starts to firm up.
Remember that if you are using a heavy-bottomed saucepan, it WILL retain heat and OVERCOOK your scrambled eggs into a crumbly-solid mess. You do not want this to happen, so adjust your cooking methods accordingly.
When the eggs look just about done (they start to hold their own shape), pour in the cream, pepper and salt.
Remove from heat source and continue folding the eggs until the cream is evenly mixed in.
Serve with hot croissant. Maybe a few slices of bacon and mushrooms.
After a long hiatus, I log in to my Tumblr account only to discover that I have a slew of new followers.
Spam bots? I don’t know. Can someone just reply to my post to prove their humanity?
2011
A year plus since I’ve updated this page.
I should be sleeping but instead, I fight the current of drowsiness and stay up for…. what? I don’t know. I’m having some conversations, listening to songs from my past and trying to dredge up enough inspiration to pen something here (it must be working - you don’t know how many times I’ve started up this editor and closed it after writing a few halting sentences).
What do I continue this with? Updates on what transpired the year past? Nothing much happened. In and out of a relationship, stuck to a hobby and a gym plan, probably as fit as I have ever been, earning a semi-decent wage but still… empty. Not purposefully-empty. Just lacking a certain something or other. As the years go by, the heat of passion is tempered by creeping reality.
2010
Apparently there’s an eclipse going on right now but Singapore isn’t on the path of totality. I’m resigned to the fact that my dream job would require me to possess at least a Master’s qualification, and I’ll try to gun for a Ph.D. if I’m good enough. (I am.) 2010 to 2012 will be transition years. Or not. I don’t believe in planning things too far out. Careful planning (and optimisation) restricts flexibility and introduces failure points. I never make any resolutions, but I would like to end 2010 with more knowledge and life experiences than I started it.
(BN) God Will Help You Prosper If You Ask Nicely, Says Ehrenreich: Interview
Bloomberg News, sent from my iPhone. God Will Help You Prosper If You Ask Nicely, Says Ehrenreich Oct. 29 (Bloomberg) — Barbara Ehrenreich wants us to stop smiling and spend more time on the dark side. She has dedicated her new book, “Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America” (Metropolitan Books) to “complainers everywhere” with an order to “turn up the volume!” You’re not going to get rich because God wants to “prosper” you. You don’t need to smile through a cancer operation. Or those other modern-day trials like losing your job and your house. It’s time to stop the forced optimism and bring back a little hard-nosed empiricism. We spoke in New York at a midtown hotel. Lundborg: When did the business world adopt positive thinking? Ehrenreich: It came into the corporations beginning in the late 1980s as a way of calming people down during layoffs. You send the laid-off people to the out-placement firm, where they get pep talks on changing their attitude. The survivors need motivational speakers so they can do the work of two people. Lundborg: But it didn’t stop there? Ehrenreich: No. I thought it was something brought in cynically, but I was surprised to learn it came to be believed by the higher-up managers themselves. There was an amazing change away from rational analysis, and toward an idea that leadership meant having brilliant intuitions, charisma and almost mystical powers. Lundborg: How did it turn toxic? Fire Negative People Ehrenreich: Positive thinking became the ideology of the business world in America. You could not raise criticisms or doubts because there were policies to fire negative people, those who brought other people down with their skeptical thoughts. Lundborg: Give me an example. Ehrenreich: At Lehman Brothers, an executive named Michael Gelband went to the CEO, Richard Fuld, and said, “I think this housing thing is a bubble and we’re in big trouble if we don’t get out,” and the CEO essentially forced him to quit. All the insiders I managed to talk to said that’s universal — you can’t be the bearer of bad news. So, everybody was in this cocoon of happy thoughts. Lundborg: You say in your book the job of managers is to “soothe and flatter” those on top. That’s not new, is it? Most Lied-To Man Ehrenreich: One corporate crisis manager told me a billionaire CEO said to him, “I’m the most lied-to man in America. Nobody will tell me the truth.” And then you’re heading for big trouble. Lundborg: When did the corporate shamanic vision-quest, fire-walking weekends start? Ehrenreich: I would place the embrace of mysticism by top- level managers in the late ‘90s into the 2000s. You don’t go for a weekend to learn more about your product. Instead, you go to a sweat lodge like the people in Sedona. A lot of those people were probably paid by their companies to go. James Arthur Ray is a big name in the motivational business and a vigorous proponent of the law of attraction. Lundborg: If God wants us to be rich, why aren’t we? Ehrenreich: Maybe you’re standing in the way of the wealth He wants for you. You might be resisting the wealth. You have to open yourself to that, and also make your requests very clearly, how much you want and when you expect to get it. Lundborg: God is not a mind-reader, I take it. Ehrenreich: No, God doesn’t respond well to vague suggestions. Mega-Church Phenomenon Lundborg: “Pastorpreneurs” stripped the church of its old symbols — like Christ and the cross, so as not to frighten worshippers. How did we get to the pastor as CEO preaching the gospel of prosperity? Ehrenreich: It’s really a bummer to think about a guy dying on a cross. Positive theology goes with the mega-church phenomenon. Enterprising pastors found they could have a bigger congregation if people didn’t leave feeling bad so there was no talk about sin, or hell, just how great things will be. Joel Osteen’s Lakewood Church in Houston claims 40,000 people every Sunday and millions more via television. Lundborg: The book describes your own breast-cancer experience, where you felt oppressed by the feel-good aspects of the culture. How did it become a way to blame the victim? Change Your Attitude Ehrenreich: In addition to having this disease, you’re being told that if you don’t change your attitude to a happy one, you won’t get better. I should write a book called, “I Snarled My Way Through Breast Cancer.” Lundborg: What’s the worst thing about all this forced optimism? Ehrenreich: It silences people and quells dissent. Also, there is such a lack of compassion now where you feel afraid to express a complaint about the bad things. When you’ve lost your job, you’ve lost your home, you’ve been diagnosed with a serious illness, it’s not enough to say you should have a better attitude. To buy this book in North America, click here. (Zinta Lundborg is a writer for Bloomberg News. The opinions expressed are her own. This interview was adapted from a longer conversation.) To contact the reporter on this story: Zinta Lundborg in New York zlundborg@bloomberg.net . Find out more about Bloomberg for iPhone: http://bbiphone.bloomberg.com/iphone #
lost and fond
Can you remember the first time you learnt how to ride a bicycle? You probably fell off and scrapped elbows and knees many a time, and if you’re like me, getting more frustrated by the moment. Until you just go “Fuck this”, sod everything and push off strongly. Lo and behold, that was what you needed in the first place, confidence, daring and momentum.
And you’ll never need training wheels ever again.
This is how I feel right now. I’ve been in quite a few relationships - and like learning to ride a bike, I sometimes fell and got bruised, sometimes I bailed because I wasn’t confident enough, or the momentum just got all screwed up. Oftentimes, I get upset, angry and vowed never to ride the bike, and declared that walking was good enough for me.
Then, as most good things invariably are, something happened without planning, without careful orchestration, and without any warning. I met someone in the unlikeliest of places, screwed up my courage and confidence, and pushed off without looking back. I didn’t need to. I found the momentum, everything I was looking for. Things snick-snackered into place like a sliding toy puzzle, and I’ve never been happier in a long long time.
pets
You feed a dog and he looks at you in awe, thinking, “Wow, they’re feeding me. They must be Gods!”
You feed a cat and she looks at you in calm detachment, thinking, “Wow, they’re feeding me. I must be a God!”
search function
i’m never one to be considered a romantic, never would i have thought i’d find someone so in tune, so entertaining and so beautiful, in such a serendipitous circumstance at such an unlikely place. but i did.
Sleep is like taking the express train to your destination, only sometimes you’re too excited over getting there and slumber escapes you.
When you get there, you don’t want to leave but sleep tugs on your eyelids with the persistence of a child. You’re too psyched over the next stop, and sleep eludes you like luck on a winning streak.
